13 things McDonalds workers want you to know

1. There's a special place in hell for people that ask for salt-free fries

Especially when it's busy and it's only for a kid's happy meal. It means we have to cook a whole new batch which takes just over 3 minutes (basically a century in fast food world), clean the fry station and the fry scoop and then remember which order they were for. Seriously, if you don't want salt then McDonald's is prob not the place for you, babes.

2. We'll sometimes play cricket with old chicken nuggets

Before we chuck old nuggets out, we'll sometimes have some fun with them. You only need two people to play, one to bat (using a bun spatula as the racket, obvs) and the other person to bowl. Nugget football works too. Waste not want not!

3. If you order an apple pie and there's none ready, we'll hate you

THEY TAKE 6 MINUTES TO COOK PLUS 9 MINUTES TO COOL, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

4. Don't ask us to throw a 'cheeky' extra double cheeseburger in your bag

You wouldn't go to a nice sit-down meal and ask for extra stuff for free, would you now? Chances are we'll probably miss a burger off your meal just for being a 'cheeky' dickhead.

5. Be rude to us and we'll be secretly rude back

Don't panic. None of the McD's team are rank enough to spit in your burger but we MIGHT put extra ice in your drink, or make sure there's no flavour syrup in your milkshake, or we'll squash your burger a bit too much. That sort of thing. Revenge is subtle but sweet.

6. But if you're nice to us, we'll be extra nice back

Maybe we'll fill up your fry box really full, or put extra toppings on your McFlurry or extra sauce in your ice-cream sundae.

7. We work looooooong hours

Most resturants are open 24 hours now which means loads of graveyard shifts, but if not some will open at 5:30am and we have to be there before that. Oh, and don't forget the only day we're closed is Christmas day… Be gentle with us. We're tired.

8. If you call something by the wrong name we'll definitely have a laugh behind your back

It's not called a McSandwich Chicken, and nor are Creme Egg McFlurrys called 'McFlurry Goo', trust us.

9. We don't half take some shit from customers

Being sworn at by drunk people, having hot chocolate thrown over us, burgers thrown in our faces, you know, the usual. We've got that fake smiling thing DOWN.

10. Most of us have probably been to work accidentally drunk at least once

When you start work at 5am, it's inevitable really.

11. Most McD's staff have seen things we'll never unsee

Like the customer care girl that had to clean up after a bloke was caught masturbating in the restaurant. Poor thing.

12. You can't fool the Drive-Thru

There are weight sensors in the ground to detect vehicles, so if you think you're being totes clever ordering at the Drive-Thru when you're not in a car, we'll know about it.