Come Dine With Me is a foody-phenomena where you watch people eating on the TV while usually eating yourself. Foodception, if you will. But if, like me, you seem to spend your life glued to the show, then these will apply to you.
1. You score the contestants out of 10 as if you're competing yourself. Hmmmmm, the food wasn't great but their hosting skills were top notch. They deserve a strong seven.
2. You find yourself nodding along/arguing/agreeing/talking in general to the contestants. When in fact you're just curled up on the sofa on your own. Tragic really.
3. You think about what you'd do if you won the prize money. £1,000 smackers could buy you that amazing jumpsuit you saw in Topshop's window PLUS a cheeky mini break.
4. You absolutely LOVE IT when there is on screen drama. Yeah, Sandra's not gonna be happy when she hears what Alan said about her 'cheap and tacky' wine choice.
5. The snooping around the house is one of the best parts, especially when they get bitchy and criticise the home deco, laugh at embarrassing family photos or discover a surprising collection of sex toys in the wardrobe. Some sights are so bad you don't know whether to laugh or cry.
6. You get really excited when the host has pets. OMG A DOG! Can the dog win??
7. But not so excited when they treat the animal like a human and let it walk all over the table while guests are eating. No one likes a furry cheesecake, do they.
8. When the contestants all get drunk and tell each other exactly what the think of one another, it's GOLDEN. Well, honesty is the best policy. And worse, you find yourself agreeing. "Don't worry, I thought John was cocky too, Jenny" .
9. It breaks your heart when they say they're going to keep in touch after the show. N'awwwww CDWMBFF (Come Dine With Me Best Friends Forever).
10. You judge contestants heavily based on the amount of effort they make with dress codes. What do you mean you don't want to wear a big curly wig? What do you mean you'll look stupid? FFS get involved god damn it.
11. There's always one that drinks too much and gets creepy/ a bit too OTT. And you worry that's you in real life dinner parties.
12. You love CDWMK (Come Dine With Me Karma) when the person who's a total dick and votes tactically so they win actually DOESN'T win, and turns out to be a proper sore loser. HAHA sucker.
13. You think about what you would cook/ what entertainment you'd provide if you went on the show. Beans on toast and karaoke? Sounds about right. What more could you want? 10s across the board right there.
14. The voice over man makes the show. He says what we're all thinking, and he gets away with it.
Like this? Come and check us out on Snapchat Discover.
![taylor swift](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/taylor-swift-attends-the-london-premiere-of-renaissance-a-news-photo-1713457135.jpg?crop=1.00xw:0.718xh;0,0&resize=360:* ""RENAISSANCE: A Film By Beyoncé" - London Premiere")
